Please note: this post was written before I moved my blog to WordPress. The comments I reference in the post are no longer found at the bottom of my current About Me page. You can find them here on my former About Me page where my blog originated.
I never had any intention of writing a post like this – certainly not this week, maybe not ever. I started this blog back in October as a hobby. My goal was to spread some happiness and share ideas that might be helpful to other women like me. I wasn’t interested in tackling issues that were too deep because life is serious enough already. But over the weekend, I received my first real “hate” comment on my blog. (View both comments at the bottom of my former About Me page.) I knew it would be coming at some point, but it did rattle me a bit. I was immediately sweating when I realized the comment was not the typical sweet one but rather as harsh as they come. Apparently this reader’s parents forgot to teach her about the Golden Rule.
I know you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try. But I guess I thought the haters I might attract would be those who disagree with a well-intentioned mommy tip I share, or let me know that I was using the wrong type of paint on the chairs my kids and I finished (because we really didn’t know what we were doing!)
But my first hater attacked my choice to be a stay-at-home mom because I have a Harvard degree. In that initial moment, I was stunned and deflated – but mostly I was angry. Angry because this woman had missed the mark in so many ways – it was almost laughable, really. And I was angry because I couldn’t believe she felt that she had the right to tell me – someone she’s never even met – how to live my life.
Being the eternal optimist that I am, and after the outpouring of support from my family, friends, and readers, I decided that I was going to turn this negative experience into a positive one. From the comments that were sent my way (most notably on my blog’s Facebook page), I realized this is a topic that women could benefit from discussing more openly. Every single one of us has a different story, yet at the root of it all, we women are all trying to make sense of our place in the world – without being judged and without feeling guilt for those choices.
I hate to mention this anonymous reader too often, because perhaps creating a stir like this is exactly what she was intending. I really don’t want to give her that satisfaction. But I feel the need to highlight a quote or two for this discussion, and truly, she is the catalyst for this post. She told me, “… you are contributing to a culture which values a woman’s ability to sort laundry rather than have an enriching career with the education she’s pursued.” I don’t see it that way. I am sorting laundry, yes. But if I were working full time, it’s not like that laundry would do itself. As one reader wrote on my Facebook page, “I sometimes do feel that I am using my education to fold laundry, but I remind myself that if I were ‘doing it all,’ I’d still be folding laundry after an exhausting day of work AND running around. I’ve chosen a life path that allows me to do anything rather than EVERY thing!”
Any woman (or man, for that matter) who has ever stayed at home with her children knows that we are much more than housekeepers. I do believe it’s the hardest job there is (despite my anonymous reader telling me I “need a serious reality check” for thinking so), and many women who go to work each day admit that it can be a relief to hand off a screaming child so that someone else can deal with the stress for a while! Another reader wrote on my former About Me page, “My husband is a pediatric oncologist/hematologist. One would think that might be one of the hardest jobs in the world – who wants to tell families that their children have cancer on a routine basis? But if and when my husband is trying to get work done at home, he doesn’t last more than 10 minutes. He looks at me, shakes his head, and says, ‘I don’t know how you do it. This is impossible.’”
All day long, I take care of my thirteen-month-old – my fourth daughter. I feed her, change her, and basically keep her safe and alive. As I’m writing this, she is crawling around me while Sesame Street plays in the background. I suppose some could criticize me for not giving her my undivided attention at all times (and perhaps even for having the television on), but I pause every now and then when she seeks my approval. I say, “Wow, you’re so great!” in my most animated voice, and she seems more than happy with our exchanges before returning to her toys. She is learning to busy herself without needing someone else to constantly entertain her. At one point, she comes up to me while hitting her mouth with her hand – the sign for “eat.” Without the need for crying or a tantrum, I instantly know she’s hungry, so we walk to the kitchen together, and I tear up a piece of bread. She takes it from my hand, piece by piece, and feeds herself so she can work on developing her fine-motor skills. When it’s clear that she’s done, she returns to her toys, and I go back to writing this post. Even in these small everyday exchanges, there are teaching moments.
My other three girls are typically in school, but my third is also next to me today – home sick with a fever and dozing quietly. I’m grateful that as a stay-at-home mom, I don’t have to jump through hoops to work out care for a sick child – or figure out a way to stay home from work myself and have a colleague or two irritated by my last-minute need to cancel meetings. All three of us are still in our pajamas even though it’s past noon now, and I haven’t brushed my hair (or my teeth) yet – nor have I looked in the mirror, for that matter. The breakfast dishes still sit next to the sink, and I haven’t even begun to think about lunch. Wait, did I even eat breakfast? Throughout my day, I will probably do 3-4 loads of laundry, return emails, order my desperately-needed groceries online, send a birthday card, clean up the mess that still remains from having the whole family home over the weekend, and continue to take care of one sick child and another one who is just learning to walk and talk.
Since I can’t run any errands today with a daughter home sick, I won’t be forced to get dressed until it’s time to pick up my older two girls. When they jump in the car, they will surely be bubbling with stories of their day. More often than not, at least one will tell me about something someone at school did that was unkind or hurtful in some way. This will occasionally be directed at them, but typically it’s something they have witnessed. Usually it’s innocent enough, but they are always seeking my take on the event to help them process it. We discuss how they could have helped the person being targeted, or maybe I just explain that I think it was a misunderstanding.
I could go on about the ins and outs of my day as a stay-at-home mom, but you get the picture. And honestly, many of you reading this are quite possibly in the same boat – your daily life may sound much like mine, so you really need no description. To some, we may just be “sorting laundry,” but we all know that our role is much larger than that. My girls will only be young like this once. Being home at this stage in my life is enough for me. I know I matter.
This week’s cover story in New York Magazine, The Feminist Housewife—Can Women Have It All by Staying at Home? by Lisa Miller, fell right in my lap the day after my lovely reader thought it was her place to tell me how I was a disgrace to women everywhere by “squandering my education”. The article states that “Feminism has fizzled, its promise only half-fulfilled. This is the revelation of the moment… a cause of grief for some, fury for others.” Clearly this anonymous reader is in the “fury” category. But truly, to some extent, I can understand it.
Those women who came before us fought for the right to vote, for equality in the workplace, for respect as thinking, capable individuals. So now, according to Miller, at a time when “American women are better educated than they’ve ever been, better educated now than men,” in fact – women who still ultimately make the choice to stay at home are often viewed as wasting the efforts of feminists, almost as if we are letting the women of previous generations down.
So where do we go from here? Are women supposed to seek a career, then, just because we can? Many women enter their twenties ready to take on the world. We have images of ourselves “doing it all” and doing it well, too. But sometimes dreams change, and when you get there, it may even feel like a nightmare for some.
Stacy Morrison, editor-in-chief of BlogHer (a network of 3000 blogs for and by women, of which this blog is a member) is quoted by Miller as saying that women today feel “that the trade-offs now between working and not working are becoming more and more unsustainable.” Miller writes, “…what if all the fighting is just too much?” What if not all women have the ambition to prove their worth in the working world? What if a woman has “a more modest amount [of ambition] that neither drives nor defines her?”
I have come to realize that I fall in this category. I am proud of my past accomplishments, but I don’t feel the need at this stage in my life to continue to achieve outside the home. I believe that my daughters (and my husband) currently need me more than the workplace does. I know I am giving up the chance to earn a big salary and a pat on the back in exchange for a thankless job with no sick days, no pay, and little respect. But there’s no place I’d rather be. So please don’t judge me for staying at home because I don’t judge those women who work (either by choice or necessity).
In Miller’s article, she interviews Kelly Makino, a self-proclaimed “flaming liberal and feminist” who surprised even herself by her choice to become a stay-at-home mom when her husband took a position that required more travel. Makino says, “I want my daughter to be able to do anything she wants… but I also want to say, ‘Have a career that you can walk away from at the drop of a hat.’” That is exactly the choice I want my own four daughters to have. The dreams they have now may change once they get to where they’re going. And that’s okay – because whatever they choose to do with their lives is a choice I will be thankful they have – and one I will fully support.
I know my own dreams have been in constant motion. I went off to Harvard thinking I would become a doctor. But when I got there, I started to worry about all that comes with it – the schooling, the long hours, the unpredictability. I knew I also wanted to become a wife and mother one day, and I was beginning to worry about how I would balance it all. So I took a different turn, and I wound up in Manhattan post-college with a job for which many recent graduates would have given anything. But my college boyfriend and I were managing a long-distance relationship, so my heart was never really in New York. We eventually got engaged, I moved south to be with him, and we married just two summers after I had graduated from Harvard. When I went to my 5-year reunion, there were only a handful of us who were already married. And to my knowledge, I was literally the only one there who had become a parent. I had my daughter strapped to me in a Baby Bjorn throughout most of that weekend.
Nobody could believe I was a mother at the age of 27 in that crowd. Most were still seeking higher degrees or working their way up the corporate ladder. To some extent, I felt a little like a teenager who got knocked up and derailed her life before it really got started. But that feeling came from my own insecurities, I know. Nobody made me feel like my choices hadn’t been good ones. Quite the contrary – many former classmates were tired of still being in school after all those years, and those in the work force were becoming annoyed by the “face time” they needed to put in to show their superiors how driven they were. They felt ready to “start their lives” already – just as they thought I had done.
My anonymous reader, amongst her many choice comments, demanded to know how I arrived at the name “Harvard Homemaker” for my blog. She accused me of “bragging” and being an elitist with that title: “How does having an esteemed degree from the [sic] perhaps the most prestigious school in the country make you more qualified to do your job as a homemaker?” she wrote. It doesn’t, lady. I never said that it does. You inferred that all by yourself, and you also connected the words in a way that I never intended.
Perhaps the name comes from me finally owning the choices I’ve made and being proud of them – no longer apologizing for attending Harvard, becoming a young mom, and then (gasp!) deciding to stay at home. Almost right from the start after graduation, I chose a life of domesticity. I went against the grain in some respects. Maybe that choice could even be viewed as commendable because I didn’t let society tell me what I should do with my hard-earned degree; instead, I chose a path that I knew was right for me and my family.
I’m the Harvard girl who became a homemaker. That’s where my blog’s title comes from. Simple enough. I really didn’t think it was that confusing. And just because I don’t have a high-powered job doesn’t mean I have “wasted” my degree, despite what my reader thinks. An education is never wasted. Ever. It’s a ridiculous statement to say otherwise.
Back in college I took a class where we had to conduct an experiment. We were expected to make a hypothesis, carry out the experiment, and then analyze the data. My college sweetheart (now my husband) had already graduated and was living across town in Boston. When I went to visit him, I always hopped on the bus and took the straight shot down Massachusetts Avenue to his apartment. Since I was on the bus each way a couple of times a week, it was the perfect place for me to study people’s behavior in a group setting. I wanted to see what choices people made when finding a seat.
Think about what you do when you get on an elevator. Let’s say there is one other person in the elevator when you enter. Do you go stand as close to that person as possible? No. You will position yourself as far from that person as you can. A third person enters; that person will then center herself between you both, and so on. We are programmed to respect one another’s personal space. But what happens on a bus when there is someone in every single row? How do you choose your seat?
I guessed that when forced to sit right next to someone, people would be most likely to choose a person of their own race. Wrong. I found that overwhelmingly, people chose to sit next to members of the same sex, regardless of race – particularly among women. As time went on, I began to watch for it. I would sit with my little notebook slyly open, and I would chart everyone’s movements. A woman would walk down the aisle, her eyes darting around quickly as she surveyed her fellow bus-riders in search of a seat that would make her feel most comfortable. She wanted to feel safe among a sea of strangers. Almost every single time, she found that safety alongside another woman. It was fascinating, and I couldn’t help but smile at the phenomenon.
I want to get back on that bus. I want to return to a place where women instinctively support one another in this wide world of ours, because if we can’t figure out how to do that, how do we expect the men in our lives (and in society) to stand behind us? Makino stated in Miller’s article, “I feel like we are evolving into something that is not defined by those who came before us.”
Perhaps we women are finally reaching a point where we can “have it all” but respect that the term all means different things to each of us. We can be grateful for the pioneers who came before us, allowing women the right to choose their own path. We can accept the notion that at any point, our needs and the needs of our family may change, and we can always re-enter the workforce or leave it. We can understand that until we’ve walked a mile in another woman’s shoes, it’s not our place to pass judgment. And we can agree that in the end, we simply need to be happy.
I’m on that bus. The seat next to me is open, and I welcome you to take it.
………………………….
You can find more of my “from the heart” posts here:
How Having One More Baby Has Changed Me as a Mother
I Can Feel It Happening – My Daughter is Slipping Away
Thoughts on Moving: Missing Home and Finding it Again
Thank You Could Never Be Enough: The Liver Transplant that Saved My Mom’s Life
Hello Preschool. Hello Mom Freedom!
If you’d like to keep up with me and my blog (I’d love that!), please follow along via Facebook, Instagram (get to know the “real me” through my Instagram stories), Pinterest, or Twitter.
P.S. As always, I welcome your comments below. I think this is a subject we could all benefit from discussing more openly. This post was originally published here on Shareist where my blog originated, and there are many wonderful comments at the bottom of that page (including a touching apology from the “hater” herself! I thought that was very brave of her to reach out to say she was sorry.)
Amen sister! If you ran a corporation like you run your household then you and Donald Trump might be going toe to toe!
Hi! Been reading your blog for a while. This post needed to be commented on. Well written and beautifully expressed.
It is an interesting time for women in this country. I believe we are expected to do more than ever before. I often feel I get more support and understanding from my parents’ generation than I do my own.
I came across your blog today as I was looking for ways to organize my kids’ closets better. Then I came across this post and it’s as if you were reading my mind! I have an MBA and worked in the corporate world before becoming a homemaker. Since then, nearly everyone in my family and friends has questioned my decision and why I want to “waste my degree” Some continue to ask when I would be going back to work! It’s as if my worth is tied to a potential paycheck and anything else I do, the time I spend with my children is insignificant in comparison. Your response is exactly what I wish I had the patience to give to these people. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this nice note. I’m so glad you took a moment to leave it for me. It’s so hard when those around you question your choices, but in the end, I just remind myself that it’s MY choice. There are no do-overs in life, and I know I’m doing what’s best for me and my family right now. That’s what all of us women are doing–that’s why I wish all the judgment could end. Why can’t we all just focus on supporting one another, regardless of the paths we choose for ourselves? I commend you for following your heart. Take care and thanks again. So glad you found me and my blog!
So true…I have noticed that, increasingly, people are ‘shamed’ into making choices for some nebulous common good, or some ideal du jour not realizing that the only way to get a ‘common good’ is for each person, each family, to first seek the good for those nearest to them. Why do more people not see that societal change is only possible when each individual person is well-formed, well-educated, and well-loved. This can happen in no better place than a family. In no other way will society at large, or any cause (feminism, etc.) benefit! If every family does this, everybody benefits!
Very well said, Jana! Thanks so much for taking a moment to comment. I’m glad this post resonated with you. It was certainly therapeutic for me to write it!
I stumbled upon your blog as I was looking at pinterest for a few ideas… I LOVE your blog!!! I instantly fell in love with everything you stand for & you do! After reading through your About Me page and finding this I was instantly in a fit rage. I was in the corporate world for about 6 years & decided that my time & energy was much better at home with my 4 daughters & husband… Especially after I was told by my Director that my husband and daughters needed to understand that this was my career & sacrifices must be made. If I needed to work 90+ hours a week that was something “they” would have to deal with because I had a career I needed to manage. “THEY” needed to step up and realize today’s day in age & that Mama couldn’t always be around… Yea that was my breaking point & I said BUH BYE!!! “THEY” are my FAMILY, my LIFE & meant much much more to me than a title & paycheck! I had to make some adjusting and try to keep my sanity in the process lol but I did it & wish I would’ve stayed at home with them as I did in the beginning & never gone back to work… My time with them is precious and time is something we don’t get back… I’d much rather have that time with them than answering to some arrogant jerk climbing the corporate ladder to success… yes but surely loneliness & guilt as well… (Again that’s for myself & not toward anyone else.. I am not trying to offend anyone else by my comment)
I decided to start a small blog that I’m still building & feel I’m failing at lol & start my own crochet business (that’s doing a little better than my blog)… I do it in what LITTLE spare time I have, mostly when I sacrifice sleep… My point is what is it any right of anyone else to decide what is right for another person & especially their family??? We KNOW as mothers what is best for our children & family. And right now I agree with you that our time is spent well at home. While for others it may be spent at work & climbing the career ladder. That is our RIGHT & DECISION to choose & should not be criticized by anyone especially another WOMAN! I find it repulsive that another woman would put you down & make those comments.
So what if you choose to be a stay at home Mama… that’s your CHOICE which is what America is about. Yes you worked HARD for your degree and it’s YOURS to do with what you please. And I’m sure you’re using that education still every single day in raising your children… I know this because I still use some of mine in raising my daughters & I merely went to a community college (not that there is a thing wrong with that) I am rambling I know but only because I am angry.
A stay at home Mama is not just a laundry sorter… geez if that was all I had to do I’d be on cloud 9 everyday & not ready to pull out my hair lol… It’s not easy & if you add up ALL that we do as has been done in many studies, we would be multi-BILLIONAIRES…. We have MANY MANY MANY job titles… But the way I see it is Mama & Wife is the best title for ME and many others that have decided to choose…
You are an AMAZING woman! Talented & caring, obviously, or you wouldn’t have chosen to create a blog & SHARE your talents, crafts & much more including your life with your family. As far as I’m concerned that woman & many others can continue to drink their HATERADE… If they don’t like your blog or any other stay at home mom’s, crafters, organizers etc… blogs then as you said it’s not a fit & they can move on!!! I wish you the best of luck & happiness & will continue to follow your blog, FB page, pinterest & the rest :)
I apologize for my rambling & bad grammar etc… but I was in a bit of a rage when I read this :)
Thanks for this nice note!! I’m so glad you found me and my blog! :) I can tell that you were obviously rattled by what was said to me because it strikes right at the core for all of us who stay at home (men and women). I think those who stay at home are always feeling the need to defend that choice and prove to the “outside world” that what we do is worthwhile. And on the other hand, I think women (just women in this case) who have a career also feel the need to defend that choice, explaining to critics how they aren’t “abandoning” their children. Basically, we women just can’t win, and I find that incredibly frustrating. I just wish we could all appreciate today’s America where we can do anything with our lives, and leave the judgment behind once and for all. We’d all be better off for it in the end! While I have plenty of days where life doesn’t feel so perfect, I know that I’m right where I need to be; I’m happy, and I know that I make a difference, even if some people try to minimize my worth or criticize what I have chosen to do (or not do) with my education. Good for you for following your heart and saying goodbye to a job that wasn’t worth it for you in the end. Those can be really tough decisions, but it sounds like you are in the right place for now… and someday, you can always start down a new path if you feel pulled in a new direction! That’s the beauty of it all… and those are opportunities we women are lucky to have! Take care, Jan, and thanks again for reaching out. I really appreciate it!
I came across your post as I was searching on Pinterest for “sibling photography poses” as I have 3 girls that are in the teenage years. :) It was both intriguing and enlightening to stumble upon this post. I, too, have chosen to stay home rather than work outside of the home as an RN. So many of your points hit home and resonated with me as I have both been criticized for “wasting my education” and not being able to “do it all” Do it all–what does that even mean? No one can do it all. Period. I just wanted to say “thank you” for putting this out there. It took me years to accept my own worth as a “stay at home” Mom and not feel offended by what others had to say, but feel confident in my own choice. There’s no other place I’d rather be because I can’t do everything, but I can do anything. :)
Thanks so much for taking a moment to leave a comment, Jen. I’m so glad you stumbled upon my blog and this post! I was really rattled when I first received my “hate” comment, but it forced me to sort through (and then verbalize) my feelings about it all, and I know that process has helped me feel even more confident in my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. I have no regrets thus far, even though the road hasn’t always been easy every step of the way… but so is life, no matter what path we choose! With three teenage daughters, you are a glimpse into the future for me (minus one daughter!), and I love knowing that you are still feeling empowered with your choice to do anything! Thanks again… take care!
[…] even the ones who stay at home don’t “have it all” either. The author of the prominent Harvard Homemaker blog writes of being harshly criticized by some readers for “wasting” her top-quality education on […]
Thank you for posting this. It was exactly what I needed and wanted to read. Well done! I’ve often felt my degree was “wasted” since I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for several years. I’ve always felt the need to justify my decisions to those who ask the question, “What do you do?” I’m hoping there will be a time when what we do does not stereotype us or limit our worth in the eyes of other people. My choice to be a stay-at-home parent was and has been right for me and my family. I wouldn’t trade the years I’ve been home for any corporate job out there. Thanks again.
I just recently discovered your blog (after making the stay-at-home decision myself). I must say that I feel blessed that I have found myself in a situation where this is financially possible; yes, woman may be the primary ‘bread makers’ more and more as of recently, but perhaps it is less of a choice and more of a necessity. In any regards, I respect your decision thoroughly, and rather enjoyed the controversy in this article. For some reason, this reminded me of an article I’ve read about Susan Sontag and her take on how stereotypes imprision us (link is posted below if interested). Too often, we forget to remove ourselves from our labels and make choices simply as an individual, with everything unique that comes with it. Kudos to you for doing just that.
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/12/03/susan-sontag-stereotypes-polarities/
Very well said, Taylor! And I loved the article you shared… thank you for that, too. I agree that we simply need to do what’s best for us. I appreciate you taking a moment to leave me this nice note. So glad you found me and my blog! Take care. :)
“I’ve chosen a life path that allows me to do anything rather than EVERY thing!”—exactly! Great article, thanks for being so open.
Thanks for the note! I’m glad you enjoyed this post… it was very therapeutic to write it actually. :) Take care!
Hi there. I visited your blog today for the first time in a few weeks and came across this post. It was exactly what I needed to read today! I am a Cambridge graduate who has been working as an engineer for years, but have decided to stay at home with my son. I was due to go back to work when he turned one but I decided that I want to stay at home with him as I think he benefits from it. Like others have said, I feel extremely lucky that financially we are able to do this as a family. But I find it very hard to have to justify my choice to other people, particularly other mums. Naively I thought that they would be supportive but I have found so many of my mummy friends to be judgmental. Particularly difficult as I fully support their decisions to go back to work! I understand that every child and every family is different and that we all choose what works for ourselves. I found the support I needed for me decision in your blog post. Thank you!
Hi Katy! I’m so glad this post somehow helped you find the support you needed. The older I get, the more I realize I just need to be happy, and that is enough in this short little life we’re given… Keep your head up, and good for you for following your heart!
[…] even the ones who stay at home don’t “have it all” either. The author of the prominent Harvard Homemaker blog writes of being harshly criticized by some readers for “wasting” her top-quality education on […]
What nonsense is this? While I agree you have the right to decide if you want to stay at home, I find it extremely selfish that you would twist your desires to fit with the wonderful excuse of ‘the kids’. Women who work, work for their kids rather than the egotistical manner which you define it. You put a spin on women who work and pass yourself off as a saintly holier-than-thou mother who has ‘sacrificed’ the worldly desires of seeking a huge paycheck and “a pat on the back” for achievements “outside of the house” for “the kids”.
Women who work, do they not work to earn salaries so they can provide BETTER amenities for the children? Secure a very stable financial future that extends generations? Or did you marry off rich and then decide to canonize yourself by claiming every other woman who works must be very egotistical and wanting a “pat on the back” for feminists before them? Call a spade a spade. Women work from everywhere INCLUDING the home. WORK does not necessarily mean DRIVING to a huge corporate office in Wall Street.
I agree with you in that “women work from everywhere INCLUDING the home.” I believe you are referring to women who “work from home” here, but I personally would also include homemakers in that statement. I am not sure of your situation, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you’re probably a woman who works outside the home (that is a figurative term; clearly that can also mean you work from home for an income). I am not currently one of those people, but I still WORK. Like many other stay-at-home moms, I get less sleep than I should and feel like I can hardly keep it together half the time because of all the WORK that needs to be done to keep my family of six functioning. And for women who do what I do AND work for an income?! I don’t know how they do it. Single moms and military wives who are continually alone? Amazing. Obviously women work when their family relies on that income, but not ALL women who work NEED to work in order for their family to be financially stable, contrary to your blanket statement above. While I do work part-time, would I be working full-time if my family needed that income to get by? Of course. If my husband and I chose not to have children, would I be working (for a salary), even if we could live comfortably on what he makes alone? Absolutely. Women work for all kinds of reasons… they are not all 100% financially-based, and I think you are being narrow-minded to say as much.
I find it somewhat unbelievable that you can read what I wrote and come away with this: that I am a selfish (and lazy?) person who really doesn’t want to work, so I use the “wonderful excuse” of my kids to hang out at home and have my fun. I also sit back and judge all women who do work, labeling them as egotistical and self-serving. Really? Maybe you should go back and read it again.
I’m trying to make the point that we women, unfortunately, seem damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Working mothers are often criticized by society for “abandoning” their children. Others (like me) are criticized for “just” being a mom. Why is this even discussed? We are all making PERSONAL choices that aren’t anyone’s business but our own. Women all work (yes, homemakers work). Women all make sacrifices in some capacity. Women all feel judged, especially (and sadly) by other women. I just wish we could all support one another’s choices. I do not know what life path you’re on, Dior, but whatever it is that you’re doing, I hope you’re as happy as you can be. It’s YOUR life. I will not judge you, as I do not walk in your shoes. So I ask that you do the same for me, and for all your fellow women. It’s really that simple.
Thank you for this comment. I felt the same way you did when reading this. A working woman works for many reasons, not just a paycheck and pat on the back. I first and foremost work to set an example that teaches my daughter to want MORE in life, and for herself, than to be a stay at home mom. I pray to God my daughter doesn’t grow up believing this nonsense.
I don’t think you’ll ever be sorry for choosing to stay at home with your children. That choice will no doubt have far reaching effects for good. I choose to stay at home with my three children and it has been the most rewarding, exhausting, thrilling, and challenging adventures of my life. I don’t read a lot of blogs because as it turns out being a SAHM is a busy job! :) But I will definitely continue to read yours. Here are a couple of others that I feel are worthy of my time that you would probably enjoy and benefit from, too: 71toes.com and powerofmoms.com. Keep doing what you’re doing. …you’re awesome!
Thanks, Mel. I will check out those blogs for sure. I appreciate you sharing them, and I appreciate your nice note as well. I agree completely with all that you said! Take care. So glad you found me and my blog!
I don’t have kids but that is a choice I made to pursue the career that I chose. However, I don’t think less of the women I know from college who chose to become stay-at-home mothers at some point after they graduated (or my sister-in-laws who did this as well). I think that as an educated woman, you are equipped to make better choices for yourself and your family. You can be a more supportive parent (and spouse, too) because you value educational opportunities. We each have our own choices in life. If your choice is working for you and your family, please don’t let a snarky woman that you have never met make you feel bad about the choice you made.
Thanks, Leigh. It can be hard to be criticized, but like you said, I try not to let it ring in my ears too much – that woman’s opinion shouldn’t matter to me. Best of luck to you and thanks for the support not only of me, but of women everywhere – regardless of the paths we’ve each chosen. Take care!
I so enjoyed reading this…I am a registered nurse, wife and mother to three wonderful children. Have recently ( within past 2 yrs ) had a burden to “stay home”. For my birthday this month, that’s what my husband “gave me” and all I could do was cry. I am so excited about this new chapter of our lives. Hasn’t started yet…but soon; Just working out a short notice at work. Thank you for the words of encouragement!
Sherrie, your note made me tear up! So happy for you that you are able to stay at home if that’s your dream at this stage in your life. That’s the beauty of it all for the modern woman – we ladies can leave the workforce, re-enter it, or find fulfillment in other ways. That’s the beauty of “choice” – it doesn’t need to be one-size-fits-all – and our path can bend and turn along the way to meet our needs and the needs of our family. I wish you the best as you start this next chapter. You only live once, so good for you for realizing that something had to give for you to be truly happy! Enjoy the extra time with your three kids – take care! :)
[…] I got my college degree in math and computer science. I have held jobs using both of these skills, but now do very little with either. But, I am the most happy being a mom and a wellness coach. I certainly do not feel that I’m wasting my education. Therefore, I tend to agree with this mom that no education is ever wasted. What do you think? Click the post below: https://harvardhomemaker.com/don-t-be-a-hater-support-your-fellow-women/ […]
I generally agree with your point. I have a masters in engineering from Berkeley, but I’m a stay-at-home mom to an autistic child. It’s nowhere near as intellectually challenging as engineering, but it certainly presents lots of other challenges.
Also I was drawn to your blog by the punchy title — I didn’t feel it misrepresented you at all. You were exactly as I expected, a Harvard-educated homemaker.
No one can rattle you — you let yourself be rattled. I feel like your missive is rather defensive. I read the comment and it pretty much could have been directed at me. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten into Berkeley or gotten an NSF fellowship had I listed “stay-at-home mom” as my career ambition. Knowing partial differential equations doesn’t help me fold laundry. But I know that my education paid off in a different way, as I wouldn’t have met my husband in grad school if I had done something else. My husband has more earning power than me and I’m supporting him in his career. If I had the choice for the two of us to make $20k/year each, or him to make $40k/year and I can stay home and take care of the house, I’d clearly choose the second.
I never comment on blogs, but I was struck by how defensive you were to a fairly innocuous (compared to some I’ve seen!) comment. Don’t let “haters” get you down because not everyone is going to like you. They crucified Jesus, and he was a pretty nice guy.
Good point, Teri! I have certainly learned to develop a thicker skin through this experience and as a blogger in general. Perhaps I would react differently at this point – but then again, I’m glad for all the discussion it has prompted. Thanks for your note!
Because yeah – who would want to have a Harvard education simply for the value of having uh…a HARVARD EDUCATION. This right here, see, is what drives me up a wall as a teacher – an elementary school teacher at that. This constant message that your worth and the worth of your education is defined by the size of your paycheck – is a rising evil. Now it’s not just enough to introduce kids to the wonders of the world – in KINDERGARTEN we are asked what we do to make them “college and career ready.” Um WHAT? How about we just teach them to plant a flower and hold a baby chick and cuddle up to read a good book and look at the world with curiosity? How about we teach that education is valuable in and of itself – not just for how much it will potentially make you earn one day?
The women’s liberation movement was about choices – not narrowing our world yet again. Somehow I get the feeling that it shouldn’t take a great act of courage to fold laundry. And yet it does. Who knew you were striking a blow for womankind? :D
Victoria, I couldn’t agree more! Your comment gave me the chills actually. You might also like this post I wrote: 10 Things to Think About Before Your Child Starts Kindergarten. In that post, I touch on how kindergarten is the place where kids learn to love learning!! Kindergarten sets the tone for their entire academic experience! How is that NOT important in shaping a person? Of course it’s an integral piece of the puzzle. Thank you for what you do as a teacher! And thank you for your support as well. I wish we could all stop beating one another down and viewing life through a “one size fits all” lens. Take care and best of luck! :)
Hi,
I’m just in love with your blog name…..I can totally relate to you being in the same situation. I have masters degree in engineering and decided to stay at home even before having babies!
To be honest sometimes it’s not the other woman or man but my own mindset makes me question my decision….Being SAHM I always try to do my BEST and then failing at it……brings me anxiety, depression and doubts on my decision. But I guess this post really HELPED me today and made me doubtless about my decision.
Thanks for the note. I agree, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy – I have had many doubts along the way myself. But I try to live life without regret, and I know I’ll never regret having this time with my children – even though a part of me will always wonder “what could have been” if I had done things differently. I’m glad knowing that you’re not the only one who struggles with these life choices has somehow calmed your mind a bit! :) I look at it like we have to make the best decisions we can in the here and now… life is a journey. Best of luck!!
Hello,
Please allow me to comment one tiny part of your post. I agree with the rest (I am a PhD student in physics, and unsure what I will do next) but I found the bus analysis extremly interesting.
I take the bus very often and I have very long legs which makes sitting next to someone uncomfortable (for me and depending on the size of the person next to me, for him/her). But people can’t see my legs until they have already decided to sit next to me, and it’s too late. So I always look (discreetly) at people arriving to try and see if I have to start squeezing my legs. And to my surprise I can almost always tell if someone will come next to me or sit next to someone else. (I’ve been told to look grumpy if I want to avoid people sitting next to me but I can’t do that, it’s not their fault I’m too tall).
Women will always sit next to me if there are only “next to male” sits available, exactly as you said. But surprisingly, less people sit next to me if I read a book or look out the window when they are choosing. if you make any eye contact they will come for sure. I am guessing people do not want to intrude in personal space when choosing, and thus will be drawn to a person that doesn’t seem to mind and is somehow expecting it. They don’t want (of course it’s more instinctive than anything) to surprise someone with “themselves”. And this is in France where personal space is smaller than in the US, so I am quite curious about criteria of “choice” in the US. Please note that I wrote this to get it out of my head, so i understand if you overlook my comment ! Bonne journée.
Diane
Diane, that is so interesting!! I love how in tune you are to what’s happening around you. The study of human thought and behavior has always fascinated me – I guess that’s why I was a psychology major back in the day. :) Thanks for the note. I rally enjoyed reading it. Take care!
In each and every line you wrote we all can see HOW MUCH you love your family and that there’s no place in the world where you’d like to be instead of being with your family.Harvard though,did shape you and your mind to become smarter,hardworking and 100% devoted to the things that you love and I am so thrilled that you’ve put all your energy and knowledge into upbringing your daughters.Harvard has definitely fullfilled its mission to make you become AS great as YOU ARE BEING THE BEST MOM EVER!You are such a great example to your daughters and all of us.And it ain’t any kind of sacrifice it’s LIVING YOUR DREAM.Thank you Harvard for educating women this well for NEVER TO FORGET that OUR FAMILY is the first business that we all should invest the most otherwise we would never be complete and in peace with ourselves.And honey,trust me,you DO have a full time job,but the difference is that you do it in your pijamas,you dance and smile all day,your messy and cooking-smelly hair is the most charming ones for the ones you love most,you don’t envy anyone in “the company” where you work,you eat your lunch with a huge smile on your face because you saw your baby’s first steps or heard her first “Moommy…” calling,the sprinkle in your eye is always there even when your eyes are tired,and even more you manage to do so many proffessions each and every day – you are a TEACHER,an Economist, a Lawyer,a Psychologist,a Counsellor,a Manager,a Chef,a Party planner,a Life couch and a MASTER of your secret skills and many,many more.And you get paid by love,respect,devotion and honour from your beloved ones.YOU ARE A WEALTHY ONE OF A WOMAN.May God bless you,your family and Harvard for making you as smart as you are to be able to find your inner self,defeat your ego and be as happy as you are.You ought to be admired.Regards to you and your lovely family.
Well, thank you so much for this nice note that I found this morning to start my day!! I really appreciate the support not only of me, but of all stay-at-home moms – with our sweat pants, messy hair, and all. :) We really do work hard, but unfortunately society doesn’t always respect our work – but our families do (at least they should!), and that’s all that should matter! I have my bad days like anyone, but I wouldn’t trade being a stay-at-home mom for anything. Raising my four girls is my life’s greatest privilege, and it’s the one thing I’m most proud of doing! Thanks again for taking a moment to brighten my day – and for stopping by my blog, too. I really do appreciate it! xo
Thank you for this post. I am a young, stay at home mom who originally had big dreams for my life professionally. I never imagined becoming a stay at home mom at 24, yet here I am. I see my friends and former colleagues “enjoying” their 20s, making a name for themselves while I spend my day at home in my PJ’s and for a while it was a struggle. I feel sometimes that being a young stay at home mom adds another layer of judgment from the “haters”. It is so nice to have a reminder of how important it is. Now as my daughter grows, I see more and more how valuable I am to my daughter and to my family. As a teacher I envisioned myself changing the world through my students, but now I realize I am changing the world through my daughter. Same end result just simply a different means of getting there. Again thank you for the reminder of how important and awesome it is to be a stay at home mom!!!
Hi Katie! I understand how you feel completely – 100% I do!! I feel more confident in my choice as time passes because I can see the impact I’m having on my girls, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still wonder what could have been at times… Yet I know I’ll never regret this time I have with them. It’s truly precious. I love how you said, “…now I realize I am changing the world through my daughter.” So true! I’m going to remember that. Thanks so much for the note. Best of luck to you!! xo
Agreed! Let’s all just support one another for the decisions we make for our families, whether it is to have a career, stay at home, or both! Today my father offered to take care of my daughters, so I could go back to work because I “spent so many years studying at a top university and it would be a waste to stay at home.” Now I love my father very much, and I know he said that with good intentions…but, well, you know what I’m feeling, especially since it’s 2am and I can’t fall asleep! Luckily, I stumbled upon your blog, and I have found much comfort after reading this entry. Thank you. I can now go to sleep reaffirmed that my decision to stay at home to raise my daughters was the one of the best decisions I have ever made. And I say that PROUDLY, just a few days after my 9-month-old’s diaper popped open leaving a lovely trail of poop in almost every room in our house for me to clean :)
Thank you so much for this nice note! I can totally relate to all that you wrote. Our lives are far from glamorous as stay-at-home moms, but that doesn’t mean our work isn’t valuable. Best of luck!! And let’s hope your little one’s diaper stays closed from now on! :)
I stumbled upon you blog, and first I took in every word. I always admire women than choose to do whatever makes them happy. If its a career, stay at home built an empire. One thing that did stood out was the bashing and criticism that goes between women and sometimes I catch myself in it.. For example, in my family I haven’t meet a single woman with an education higher than 11th grade because for whatever life decisions they chose to become mothers. When I first chose I wanted an education and career I was supported. I mean no one really knew what or how. They just saw it as something to do while I became a mother. Yet, when I met my husband we’ve decided to pursue an education and career until it can support a comfortable life spending time with our family. We’ve both seen what not having an education can do financially to parents that have to work. However, i always find myself often more than my husband defending my choice for not having a family at 27. I am put under scrutiny because I decided to choose something I that will make me happy. I admire the fact that you and many that responded and have chosen to become stay at home moms after finishing your education. It has empowered you to raise your children differently believe it or not. My point is, that we as women should support each others choice regardless of what you decide to do. I have learned things and have questions others while I began this college journey of mine. Often not, I ponder how differently my family could be if the women in it decided to stay at home to raise there children….or how different it’ll be if each one support the others decisions whatever that choice is. I admire your decision but simply because you are doing what enriches you the most, and not because society says you have to earn a big paycheck just because you went to Hardvard. In my opinion the fact that you went to get an education simply means you are education to find solutions to problems and research what you do not know. That alone makes you prepare to provided what you can fix at home or solve what your kids need. So really what is a wasted education? I think a wasted education is the one you do not receive at all..but that is just me.Thank you for your post, it help me realize some things. I wish you and your family the many happiness and memorable moments because in life those are the things that stick with us. I hope one day however women can and will begin to empower one another for choosing to just be happy with whatever they decide to do in life.
Kudos to you for being of a higher mind that the original hater.
I was of the age where many of mine and my friends mothers fought for the few rights we have now–the right to choose; the ERA; the right oddly enough to serve in combat. Sadly–these fights in some cases are either STILL being fought FOR or we need to go back and fight for them AGAIN.
What we should NOT have to fight for OR over is what we want to do with our lives. I often think—where DO the kids GO whose mothers are at those jobs? Not only the ones with the nannies of course–but regular old fashioned “Working moms” kids? Where do the kids of the secretary at your doctors office GO after school–or before? The doctors kids might have nannies–but the receptionist’s probably don’t. This leaves a whole ‘nuther group of—yes!–women looking after THOSE kids! And for some–and I did this for years—this IS a way to stay home with OUR kids–with a bunch of others mixed in–which I personally found EASIER than having just my own bored three esp in the depths of a long winter. Did I feel this was a “waste” of my education?
Um–no.
I have never wished to be LESS educated than I am; and I do feel that I am helping my kids; the other kids I took care of–who are now young marrieds and carreer-ed and parents!—to benefit FROM that education. And now I have grandkids in this mix! I also volunteered at school; Scouts; a National Guard Leadership Teen program—
Sadly it is my HUSBAND who feels HE missed out on a LOT of our kids growing up years. He sees and does things now with the grandkids that he missed–I am so happy he has this time with them but I do wish he had been more able to have time with HIS kids. At the time he often worked a full day job and did contracting “On the side” and worked farm work when asked—And I did child care and built a small antiques business. At that time in our rural location there were few jobs that were WORTH leaving home FOR–it would have COST us MORE to have me go out to work!
There are all sorts of reasons women work at one thing or another–but that is YOUR decisions.
Hi HH,
I found this post while searching for ideas on mudrooms.
My husband, our 5 yo daughter, 4, and 2yo sons, and myself, recently moved 1500km from our home in Edmonton, leaving DH’s 15yo son with his stepmother. At the same time, we went from a 2 income family, to a single income family with me being a stay at home mom. I feel that the decision I made is scrutinized by many people because I have an MSc, and most of a PhD. Before we left Edmonton, my salary was significantly more than my husband’s. We have “suffered” a huge cut in income. However, despite this loss in financial richness, I feel the decision to be a stay at home mom is the best decision I ever could have made for myself and our children.
Now, I must say I never read the original post denegrating your choice. However, it is apparent that the anonymous poster missed many points. Yes, smart people, who know how to do well at school and post secondary education, are a great asset to society when they are “gainfully employed”. But what better gainful employment is there than a mother who can pay attention to you first, when you need it, and not have to ask permission to leave work, reschedule meetings, etc.. when you child is sick? What better place for a child is there than to have the attention of their mother, not another caregiver with whom they share the attention with 11 other youngsters? With their mother who knows that they have stayed up all night for the past couple nights? Or have begun to show an interest in potty training?
These are so much more valuable than the financial income I contributed to the family, I believe. For the first 4 years of my daughter’s life, I worked (except when on maternity leave), while she watched cartoons to keep her quiet, or ate kraft dinner and cookies at a day home – an atmosphere that was significantly better than any day cares that we cold find. As much as many would find these normal and fine behaviours, I grew up in a family with no television and fresh foods. My mother was a stay at home mom, and my DH and I were trying to do the same for our kids.
Now that I am at home (and have been for 6 months, I can say that it is truly a blessing. Even further than the the comment that one is “wasting” their education, and a disgrace to higher level education, I would say that women with higher level education can see parenting from a different perspective than many. For one, I never wanted to have children until I met my husband, and then, suddenly, my view of the world and parenting completely changed. How could I have known before receiving my education? Further, my education has shown me that learning is easy. Following your dreams is important. Working hard at what you want to do is nothing short of normal. Not everyone will agree with your observations, research, and conclusions. And staying up all night is simply a fact of life! What is so different about parenthood? What could prepare you better?
Personally, I think that good parents are truly a necessity for the future, and that we as a society do not put enough stock into good parenting. It is a full time job, and there is very little support (financially) for doing so. I think that the government need to look harder at what stay at home parents can give to their children that day cares cannot – not in terms of the short term, but in terms of the well being of our future generations, our country, and our planet. This cannot be done when you can only spend 2-3h of quality time a day with your children, before and after work, when we are all tired, hurried and harried. Like you pointed out in your post on your 4th, being more relaxed and enjoying every moment as the beautiful, humourous or teachable moment that it is, is much more conducive to emotionally healthy, observant and creative young adults.
Hello Christy!
Our family just received your adorable Christmas card and I just had to check out your blog. I love this post. So well said. I hope we get to meet in person someday, and perhaps you can give me some tips on how you do it with four as I am just now getting my sea legs with one! Happy holidays to you all!
Renee Buckley
Hi Christy:
Kudos to you for being the best mom (and wife) you can be, and following your dreams! I have BS in Mechanical Engineering (from PSU) and an MBA and always aspired to be the future CEO of a company. I went back to work after having my 1st son, but when I had my 2nd son, I couldn’t do it. I decided that being a mom was the career I wanted and it was extremely rewarding for me. Now I am the mom of 3 boys (ages 7, 9 and 11). After being a SAHM for 8 years, I went back to work full-time for 9 months and I missed my kids so much that I resigned from my job last week. I have had many offers for flexible work schedules from different companies, but I am happy being their mom. Many people have given me their opinions that I am crazy and nuts for wasting my education too, but I spend my time with my boys as much as I can. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all that is for their future. :-) It is the best way to spend my time and education! :-)
Thanks for sharing all your education, passion and creative ideas!
Such an interesting post and debate. I’m a graduate in my mid thirties and have also stayed at home looking after my two daughters (6 & 4). My youngest is due to start school this coming September. Even though I decided before my first baby was born that I’d like to stay at home with them if possible, I’ve really struggled to be secure in that choice as the majority of my friends have worked, albeit part-time, which is the norm in the UK. I never had family nearby to help with childcare, but sometimes been made to feel that not only have I wasted myself and my abilities by staying at home, but I’ve somehow deprived my girls of the social skills they could have gained if I’d put them in nursery. I’m also undecided as to whether we should have a third baby, as I letting go of the ‘me time’ and the chance to follow a professional path feels like a bigger sacrifice now I’m older, and lots of people have encouraged me not to return to what they see as the doldrums of life with a newborn/toddler, but rather pursue other interests. Being from a big family myself I never saw myself having just two children, and I feel deep down that adding to our brood and staying at home is not a ‘waste’. Thank you for your encouraging post, it’s so nice to read something online that is non judgemental and seeks to affirm women whatever their choices.
This is an amazing post. Thank you so much for explaining politely how it isn’t a waste to resign from an amazing job. I was in sales and had won a prestigious Presidents’ Club award and was invited on a trip I couldn’t take because I was on maternity leave with my first child. And then I resigned. Now i have three boys and my house is a mess all the time, but I wouldn’t ever want to take back the job I’d given up. This is my life that I have chosen.
So I had to comment on here and say something, because so many of my fellow politicofeminists miss the mark on this. The point and the foundational core of feminism is that a woman should have the choice to do whatever she wants in the manner that she wants, without the influence of microsocietal (e.g., family, spouse) and macrosocietal (e.g., politics, social media) factors. The hateful comments that you have gotten that supposedly try to uphold feminism are exactly the type of antifeminist comments that women consistently have to go up against. And it never ends… I am a working mother, with 1 child, who is going for her doctorate degree. I hear things from my friends about how they don’t think they will ever get married and have a child (one side of feminism) and then I hear things from friends who don’t understand why I only have 1 child and ask me when I will have more (yet another side). Again, the point of feminism is that the choice is mine to make and mine alone (with consideration but not coercion from my spouse, family, and others). And I applaud you for making a prime example of that. I personally love the idea of you being so highly educated and shaping the minds of 4 wonderful women. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for your note. I couldn’t agree more!! Best of luck!
While I can easily see how this quickly developed into feminist arguments over a woman’s choice, I wonder how much of a class issue is actually being revealed here in addition. I wonder if the perception of being able to ‘choose’ to stay at home is seen in terms of economic sustainability. Oftentimes the perception that many people may have is that a woman can choose to stay at home because the husband can earn enough to support the family in question. The fact that the woman could have a degree from a highly respected institution in addition may make people believe the woman is in fact privileged and is benefiting from that privilege to an extra degree. The privilege starting from the ability to attend a highly respected institution in the first place and being able to graduate, which is then added to by the fact that she probably met her husband there or as a result of getting the degree. This husband would also have been privileged. He would obviously be able to have a career that would support a stay at home wife and family.
I’ll be the first to admit that this is not always accurate. Sometimes the mother stays at home because her wages would just go towards child care, or she took a career hit by being pregnant and having a child in the first place. Sometimes it isn’t the mother who stays home but the father.
It seems that there is an element of classism and privilege that is also being triggered along with the standard feminist arguments of woman’s choice and woman’s worth in society. It may be that the commentator was reacting to the inequality that exists between herself and you in terms of opportunities and privilege in a strictly classist sense.You have choices that many don’t by virtue of your opportunity of that highly respected degree, the people you were able to associate with and become attached to, and the economic benefits that result, even if indirect.
Now, I am not attacking you here, it is just the way of our world, unfortunately. People have privileges that others don’t. The result is more opportunities and options that others can never have access to. This is something to keep in mind when addressing the ‘mommy wars’ on the issue of ‘stay at home’ versus ‘working’ mothers.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Tina! While I agree with you, in regards to my particular “hater”, she said at one point that she was excited to stumble on my blog because as an educated woman herself, she was looking forward to the tips I would share on how I balance family and work (and blogging!) – and how disappointed she was to learn that I instead “wasted” my degree. She actually later apologized to me after I wrote the above post. In her apology, she said that she was raised in a home where being a stay-at-home mom was viewed as failure. From what I can tell, she seemed to have plenty of opportunities and privileges in life, but she was simply choosing a path that was different from mine. Certainly not every woman (or man) has the option to stay at home, but in this post, I’m responding to a personal attack on the way I live my life. As you point out, it is truly a privilege to have the means to be at home while raising your children, and many simply don’t get the choice. It’s not lost on me that I’m very lucky to have the option! :) Thank you again for stopping by my blog and offering your thoughts! I appreciate it! :)
As an educated woman myself I have to say, “Thank you for taking the time to write this post!” I chose to stay at home as well and people often ask what I’m doing with my career right now. I have 3 children. My youngest is 18 months. It’s not easy but it is so worth it! Children are only young once and if you have the opportunity to be with them, I think it’s such a blessing if you can. Thanks again!
Thank you! I appreciate your note. :) Best of luck!
The print on your blog is so small that I have to squint over long periods to try to read all your good articals. Please consider increasing your font size–it is much, much too small to read comfortably on small devices like cell phones, etc. –as the small print discourages further reading at times: Other than that, keep up the good work!
Anabelle, this is such a great suggestion. I have never even thought about this!! When I work on my blog (which is not very often these days, unfortunately), I’m always at a computer. But I should realize that readers are most often looking at a phone/iPad when they are reading. I will definitely increase the font size – as soon as I can figure out how to do that… ha! :) Thanks again!